Yesterday, I was looking at facebook when I suddenly felt like I had been slapped in the face. I read a post by someone and had to read it again. And then a third time. I thought for sure that I had read it wrong. Sadly, I hadn't.
Brent Koschtial had passed away.
For those of you reading this that are from Roscommon, you don't need me to tell you who Brent was. I can't say that I knew Brent very well, but I think it affects you when someone you know dies, even if you only knew them in passing. If, at any point in your life, you had a conversation with that person, you feel it just a little bit more. (At least, that's how it is for me.)
Brent was a year younger than me, and that's another reason that it kind of makes you stop and think about it. You immediately want to know how it happened. You think back to the memories you have of the person and, depending on how well you knew them, you think of their family and what they must be going through.
Brent has an older brother and sister. I graduated with Vanessa, and Dan was a couple years older than me. Like I said, I didn't know Brent as well as a lot of people did, but several things I did know about him are that he was a good looking kid and he was extremely intelligent. He was well liked and he had a quick wit. We played varsity baseball together and Brent used to throw a knuckle-curve ball a lot in batting practice. Brent was also his own guy. He didn't get badgered into doing things he didn't want to do, and felt no pressure to do things for the sake of popularity. This trait was shared by all three of the Koschtial kids.
One memory I have of Brent is that one day I wanted to go to one of the football games, but knew if I went home to St. Helen after school, I wasn't going to have any way to get back for the game. I had decided that I'd just stay at the school and kill time until the game. Brent invited me back to his house with him to have dinner before the game. He lived really close to the school and we walked to his house and then walked back to the game later that evening. It was a really nice thing of him to do and one that I've always remembered.
I'm sure that Vanessa and Dan would appreciate it if you shared any memories or stories that you have involving Brent.
Friday, June 26, 2015
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
One Year Later
Everyone has dates in their lives that
they will remember forever. Anniversarys, birthdays, personal
milestones and the like. Sometimes the events that spark these
memories are happy occasions, and other times they are not. Either
way, we remember. September has several dates that are significant
for me. I was married on September 9th, my brother Clay's
birthday is September 4th, and who can forget the tragic
events that occurred on September 11th. There's also one
other September date that stands out for me.
One year ago today, I found myself lying in a hospital bed in War Memorial Hospital and seeing my wife's eyes lined with tears as she told me that the doctor had found cancer inside me during a colonoscopy. The last year has been a long, arduous ordeal, full of discomfort and frustration.
Despite what I've gone through, I've learned some valuable lessons about myself and about life in general. I've learned what it's like to have someone in my life who genuinely cares more about my well being than her own, and I've learned that the world doesn't stop just because you're going through something.
On Monday, I will return to Detroit Henry Ford Hospital for what will hopefully be the final procedure in my story. The surgery will be to reverse the ostoemy that was put on me during the first surgery. I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to not having that thing attached to me any more.
I had an “interesting” episode at work on Friday night because of it. I was sitting at my desk and I smelled something bad. I couldn't figure out what it was at first. Then I looked down and noticed the wet spot on the front of my shirt. At that point I knew what the smell was. The seal on the ostoemy bag had broken and it was leaking. I went to the staff bathroom to see if I could get cleaned up and stay at work. The reason I wanted to stay was because there was a holiday in the pay period. We get paid time and a half for the holiday unless we use any kind of leave during the pay period. If I left, I would have to use sick leave which would nullify my holiday pay. We can also comp the holiday, which was what I had planned to do to build up time for my surgery. Leaving cost me the six hours for the rest of the night, plus the 12 hours that I would have gotten for the holiday. Anyway, when I got to the bathroom, I shut the door and flipped on the light switch only to find out that the light bulb was gone. I had to walk back down to the office and get a flashlight and head back down to the bathroom, none of which was helping my situation. By the time I had gotten back to the bathroom, the bag was nearly completely off and I knew that there was no way I'd be able to stay the rest of the night. And cleaning myself up with essentially a nightlight on was no picnic either. I did the best I could and left. It was a fairly embarrassing ordeal. I had to get my wife out of bed when I got home to help me change the bag and then I had to take a shower. Luckily this kind of thing has only happened the one time in a public setting, and let me tell you, once is enough for me.
Something kind of funny just happened as I was writing this. I have been watching a show on Ed. It was on NBC a few years ago. I never watched the show while it was actually running, but I have been watching the episodes on You Tube. The premise of the show is that Ed loses his job at a New York City contract law firm and when he goes home to tell his wife about it, he finds her in bed with the mailman. He moves back home and ends kissing the girl that he pined for in high school. He kisses her at the bowling alley and decides to buy it because he believes it's some kind of sign. He opens his own law practice and works out of the bowling alley. There are a lot of things about the show that I like. I won't bore you with what draws me to the show, but I will tell you that I have no desire to be a lawyer or run a bowling alley. Anyway, I digress. The thing about the episode I was watching is Ed has a client who wants a name change and when asked why, he replies “life is too short to be someone that you don't want to be.” Along with the name change, he changes his look completely. Ed suspects there is more to the story and decides to go on a stakeout with Carol. They follow the man but nothing is revealed. Later in the episode, a woman comes to visit Ed and claims to be the man's wife. She tells Ed that her husband was recently diagnosed with terminal cancer and when he was told about it he simply said to the doctor, “you have the wrong guy.” He changed his name, his look and tried to leave his life behind completely in an effort to avoid the reality of his situation. That was a pretty creative solution. His name was George Murphy, and he became Rick Van Stratton. The show ends with George (Rick) coming to his senses and going back to his wife to spend what little time that had left together. Luckily, my situation is not that dire, but if I were to change my name, I think I'd change it to hmmmm, that's harder than I thought. I'm taking suggestions for what I could change my name to. Certain people are not allowed to submit suggestions, and you all know who you are.
With any luck, my cancer story is nearing its end. One more surgery, and one CT scan. I've always said that hopefully by Christmas this will all be nothing but a funny story and a memory. I don't know how funny the story will end up being, but it there's no doubt in my mind that I'll never forget it.
I Will Win
One year ago today, I found myself lying in a hospital bed in War Memorial Hospital and seeing my wife's eyes lined with tears as she told me that the doctor had found cancer inside me during a colonoscopy. The last year has been a long, arduous ordeal, full of discomfort and frustration.
Despite what I've gone through, I've learned some valuable lessons about myself and about life in general. I've learned what it's like to have someone in my life who genuinely cares more about my well being than her own, and I've learned that the world doesn't stop just because you're going through something.
On Monday, I will return to Detroit Henry Ford Hospital for what will hopefully be the final procedure in my story. The surgery will be to reverse the ostoemy that was put on me during the first surgery. I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to not having that thing attached to me any more.
I had an “interesting” episode at work on Friday night because of it. I was sitting at my desk and I smelled something bad. I couldn't figure out what it was at first. Then I looked down and noticed the wet spot on the front of my shirt. At that point I knew what the smell was. The seal on the ostoemy bag had broken and it was leaking. I went to the staff bathroom to see if I could get cleaned up and stay at work. The reason I wanted to stay was because there was a holiday in the pay period. We get paid time and a half for the holiday unless we use any kind of leave during the pay period. If I left, I would have to use sick leave which would nullify my holiday pay. We can also comp the holiday, which was what I had planned to do to build up time for my surgery. Leaving cost me the six hours for the rest of the night, plus the 12 hours that I would have gotten for the holiday. Anyway, when I got to the bathroom, I shut the door and flipped on the light switch only to find out that the light bulb was gone. I had to walk back down to the office and get a flashlight and head back down to the bathroom, none of which was helping my situation. By the time I had gotten back to the bathroom, the bag was nearly completely off and I knew that there was no way I'd be able to stay the rest of the night. And cleaning myself up with essentially a nightlight on was no picnic either. I did the best I could and left. It was a fairly embarrassing ordeal. I had to get my wife out of bed when I got home to help me change the bag and then I had to take a shower. Luckily this kind of thing has only happened the one time in a public setting, and let me tell you, once is enough for me.
Something kind of funny just happened as I was writing this. I have been watching a show on Ed. It was on NBC a few years ago. I never watched the show while it was actually running, but I have been watching the episodes on You Tube. The premise of the show is that Ed loses his job at a New York City contract law firm and when he goes home to tell his wife about it, he finds her in bed with the mailman. He moves back home and ends kissing the girl that he pined for in high school. He kisses her at the bowling alley and decides to buy it because he believes it's some kind of sign. He opens his own law practice and works out of the bowling alley. There are a lot of things about the show that I like. I won't bore you with what draws me to the show, but I will tell you that I have no desire to be a lawyer or run a bowling alley. Anyway, I digress. The thing about the episode I was watching is Ed has a client who wants a name change and when asked why, he replies “life is too short to be someone that you don't want to be.” Along with the name change, he changes his look completely. Ed suspects there is more to the story and decides to go on a stakeout with Carol. They follow the man but nothing is revealed. Later in the episode, a woman comes to visit Ed and claims to be the man's wife. She tells Ed that her husband was recently diagnosed with terminal cancer and when he was told about it he simply said to the doctor, “you have the wrong guy.” He changed his name, his look and tried to leave his life behind completely in an effort to avoid the reality of his situation. That was a pretty creative solution. His name was George Murphy, and he became Rick Van Stratton. The show ends with George (Rick) coming to his senses and going back to his wife to spend what little time that had left together. Luckily, my situation is not that dire, but if I were to change my name, I think I'd change it to hmmmm, that's harder than I thought. I'm taking suggestions for what I could change my name to. Certain people are not allowed to submit suggestions, and you all know who you are.
With any luck, my cancer story is nearing its end. One more surgery, and one CT scan. I've always said that hopefully by Christmas this will all be nothing but a funny story and a memory. I don't know how funny the story will end up being, but it there's no doubt in my mind that I'll never forget it.
I Will Win
Monday, September 1, 2014
Mowing grass and taking names
Note: This entry was meant to be posted on August 27th, but that didn't quite happen. So when I refer to the weekend, it does not mean Labor Day weekend, but the weekend prior
Have you ever heard of the phenomenon in which something you remembered as being huge as a child looks significantly smaller as an adult? Things like a creek that look like a mere trickle of water as an adult or a Little League field that looked huge as a kid that now seem barely more than a fenced in infield? I experienced the opposite of this over the weekend. My Grandma’s yard has always been big, but I used to mow it with the tractor when I was a kid and it always seemed to go pretty quickly. Kelly, the kids and I went down there this past weekend to take care of the yards and it seemed more like mowing a hay field than a lawn.
My grandma is 91 years old and has had both hips replaced. She has a hard time getting around as it is and lately it’s gotten worse. She is very stubborn and insists that she doesn’t need to use a walker or anything other than a cane. She has fallen a couple times in the past few weeks and after the most recent one, she started having some severe pain in her right hip. My mom and aunt took her to the emergency room in West Branch and were essentially turned away after being told that nothing was wrong and that it was arthritis. The pain continued and got worse. They went back to West Branch and this time, the same doctor that shut them down the first time prescribed some pain killers that didn’t work. They did take x-rays but they didn’t reveal any broken bones so nothing was done. My grandma was in enough pain to want to go to the ER and then to be admitted into the hospital. She is a pretty tough old lady who enjoys a trip to the doctor about as much as most of us enjoy a good rectal exam (personal experience speaking there).
From there it was a trip to her family doctor. He knows Grandma better and knows that she wouldn’t complain unless the pain was pretty severe. He ordered an MRI at West Branch which they promptly scheduled….9 FREAKING DAYS LATER! Don’t worry about that pain Grandma. I’m sure the next nine days of agony will go by quickly. Idiots.
My mom got on the phone with Grayling Mercy Hospital and got the MRI scheduled the next day. The results just came in on Monday. She has been diagnosed with Spinal Stenosis. This (I have been told), is a narrowing of the spinal column. What has happened is that a nerve has been pushed outside the spinal column and is now being pinched as the column continues to narrow. This is causing the pain. She has been referred to a neurosurgeon. I’m not sure what the cure is for this or even if there is one. Because of her age, surgery is kind of out of the question, so hopefully there’s a therapy or something that can provide some relief.
Probably the only people that would enjoy the relief more than Grandma are my mom and my Aunt Kay. They have taken turns staying with her at night and have basically become live in nurses for Grandma. They do everything in shifts so that there is always someone there with Grandma. This has led to a lack of ability to take care of things at their own houses. My Uncle Donnie came up from Mississippi to help with things and I’m sure that his sisters are glad for the help.
We went down on Saturday morning to mow the lawns. It had been awhile since anyone has had five minutes of free time to do anything with them so the grass was long. Because of my legs I took the riding mower and Kelly took a push behind weed whacker that she used to get the ditch back under control. I was proud of the kids too. Callie was a beast with the push mower, doing the majority of Grandma’s back yard by hand. I can promise you, that is no small feat. Andrew had the weed whip and took care of the trim work before taking a turn pushing the mower, and Abbie worked hard with a leaf blower, getting the driveway and sidewalks cleaned off before getting a broom and sweeping off the deck. It made me feel good to be helping out mom and Aunt Kay, and made me feel good to see the kids putting forth that kind of effort with no complaint. Kelly took over for me on the rider after I had gotten Grandma’s and Aunt Kay’s front yards mowed. I had worked Friday night and had not slept, so I went back and took a short nap at mom’s house. We had originally planned to spend the weekend out in Barbeau with some friends, but Kelly suggested that we go and help out. This is one of the reasons that I love her. Her willingness to help a family that has only fairly recently come into her life makes me know that choosing her and being chosen by her is a blessing.
I don’t envy my mom or my aunt in what they have to do right now. It’s hard work to take care of someone ‘round the clock, especially when the patient is in pain. Mom and Aunt Kay, I just want you to know that your work is appreciated by everyone who calls her Great Grandma, Grandma, mom or simply friend. Thank-you!
On Sunday, we decided to take the kids to the Renaissance Festival. Kelly and I like to go and Andrew and Callie have been dying to try a turkey leg from there. I’ll relate that story in a couple of days as both of my brothers and their kids were able to make it on the short notice that we gave them and it led to some funny moments.
One quick update on me: My surgery was originally scheduled for October 20th, but we have bumped it up to September 22nd.
I Will Win
Have you ever heard of the phenomenon in which something you remembered as being huge as a child looks significantly smaller as an adult? Things like a creek that look like a mere trickle of water as an adult or a Little League field that looked huge as a kid that now seem barely more than a fenced in infield? I experienced the opposite of this over the weekend. My Grandma’s yard has always been big, but I used to mow it with the tractor when I was a kid and it always seemed to go pretty quickly. Kelly, the kids and I went down there this past weekend to take care of the yards and it seemed more like mowing a hay field than a lawn.
My grandma is 91 years old and has had both hips replaced. She has a hard time getting around as it is and lately it’s gotten worse. She is very stubborn and insists that she doesn’t need to use a walker or anything other than a cane. She has fallen a couple times in the past few weeks and after the most recent one, she started having some severe pain in her right hip. My mom and aunt took her to the emergency room in West Branch and were essentially turned away after being told that nothing was wrong and that it was arthritis. The pain continued and got worse. They went back to West Branch and this time, the same doctor that shut them down the first time prescribed some pain killers that didn’t work. They did take x-rays but they didn’t reveal any broken bones so nothing was done. My grandma was in enough pain to want to go to the ER and then to be admitted into the hospital. She is a pretty tough old lady who enjoys a trip to the doctor about as much as most of us enjoy a good rectal exam (personal experience speaking there).
From there it was a trip to her family doctor. He knows Grandma better and knows that she wouldn’t complain unless the pain was pretty severe. He ordered an MRI at West Branch which they promptly scheduled….9 FREAKING DAYS LATER! Don’t worry about that pain Grandma. I’m sure the next nine days of agony will go by quickly. Idiots.
My mom got on the phone with Grayling Mercy Hospital and got the MRI scheduled the next day. The results just came in on Monday. She has been diagnosed with Spinal Stenosis. This (I have been told), is a narrowing of the spinal column. What has happened is that a nerve has been pushed outside the spinal column and is now being pinched as the column continues to narrow. This is causing the pain. She has been referred to a neurosurgeon. I’m not sure what the cure is for this or even if there is one. Because of her age, surgery is kind of out of the question, so hopefully there’s a therapy or something that can provide some relief.
Probably the only people that would enjoy the relief more than Grandma are my mom and my Aunt Kay. They have taken turns staying with her at night and have basically become live in nurses for Grandma. They do everything in shifts so that there is always someone there with Grandma. This has led to a lack of ability to take care of things at their own houses. My Uncle Donnie came up from Mississippi to help with things and I’m sure that his sisters are glad for the help.
We went down on Saturday morning to mow the lawns. It had been awhile since anyone has had five minutes of free time to do anything with them so the grass was long. Because of my legs I took the riding mower and Kelly took a push behind weed whacker that she used to get the ditch back under control. I was proud of the kids too. Callie was a beast with the push mower, doing the majority of Grandma’s back yard by hand. I can promise you, that is no small feat. Andrew had the weed whip and took care of the trim work before taking a turn pushing the mower, and Abbie worked hard with a leaf blower, getting the driveway and sidewalks cleaned off before getting a broom and sweeping off the deck. It made me feel good to be helping out mom and Aunt Kay, and made me feel good to see the kids putting forth that kind of effort with no complaint. Kelly took over for me on the rider after I had gotten Grandma’s and Aunt Kay’s front yards mowed. I had worked Friday night and had not slept, so I went back and took a short nap at mom’s house. We had originally planned to spend the weekend out in Barbeau with some friends, but Kelly suggested that we go and help out. This is one of the reasons that I love her. Her willingness to help a family that has only fairly recently come into her life makes me know that choosing her and being chosen by her is a blessing.
I don’t envy my mom or my aunt in what they have to do right now. It’s hard work to take care of someone ‘round the clock, especially when the patient is in pain. Mom and Aunt Kay, I just want you to know that your work is appreciated by everyone who calls her Great Grandma, Grandma, mom or simply friend. Thank-you!
On Sunday, we decided to take the kids to the Renaissance Festival. Kelly and I like to go and Andrew and Callie have been dying to try a turkey leg from there. I’ll relate that story in a couple of days as both of my brothers and their kids were able to make it on the short notice that we gave them and it led to some funny moments.
One quick update on me: My surgery was originally scheduled for October 20th, but we have bumped it up to September 22nd.
I Will Win
Sunday, August 17, 2014
Lions and Tigers and flexible sigmoidoscopies, Oh My!
The past couple days have been a series
of ups and downs for me. I had a test scheduled in Novi on Wednesday
to see if I was ready for the last surgery in my ordeal. The test is
called a flexible sigmoidoscopy, which is basically a conscious
colonoscopy. It's not necessarily a painful procedure, although the
level of discomfort is so high that it may as well be painful. Like
the first time I had this test, they had a big TV mounted in the
direction I was facing and they asked me if I wanted to watch what
the scope was seeing. I declined. It's hard enough to know what's
going on without having to watch it as well.
Anyway, the results of the test were good. I have healed completely from the initial removal of the tumor and there was no sign of cancer or any infection at the surgery site. So that's definitely positive news. After posting this, I am going to get on the phone with the surgeon's office and see about scheduling the reversal for Oct. 20th. That gives me some time to build some leave time from work and the date works best for Kelly's work as well.
I was given some orders from the doctor to be followed before the surgery date. I have to exercise my legs more than I have been, and I have to lose a few pounds. This also involves making sure that I keep a really good handle on my sugar. As dumb as it sounds, this will be the hardest part for me. I eat when I'm stressed or nervous or even bored. In short, I eat a lot. I have to learn to not shove food in my mouth every time the opportunity presents itself.
After the test was completed, we got back in the car and Kelly informed me that we were going to go to Allendale to watch some of Lion's training camp. It was great! We got to get a look at all the players, and the place where we were standing was right where the corners and safeties were working on drills. I could have reached out and touched Darius Slay and Glover Quinn as they came right up to the edge of the roped off area. I wanted to get close to Matt Stafford and watch them run plays, but they were in an area where the public couldn't get to. We didn't stay for the whole practice, but it was something I'll never forget.
We were both hungry when we got to the Lion's facility as I couldn't eat after dinner the night before and Kelly didn't eat anything either. They had exactly one food vendor at the field and it was a pita place. I know lots of people like pitas, but I am not one of them. Even Kelly, who usually likes that kind of stuff, was a little disappointed. I mean, this is a football practice right? With NFL fans attending, right? I think a grill with dogs, burgers, brats, and maybe even some chicken would have been much more appropriate. But then again, Bill Ford Jr. hasn't exactly asked my opinion on the matter. Maybe he's a fan of the pita.
When we left there, we went to check into our hotel and get ready for the Tiger's game that night. Getting ready consisted of taking a two-hour nap. My legs were pretty worn out from the walking involved at Lion's camp and from the stress of the test earlier in the day. We made our way over the ballpark and found our seats. I have to say, these were probably among my favorite ones that we've had. It was padded and there was a little table right in front of us to set stuff on. It was shaded so I was able to stay out of the sun and we were right behind a brat/hot dog vendor that also sold diet pepsi so it was damn near perfect. The only downside was that we couldn't see the scoreboard from where we were at. A small price to pay in my opinion.
We have been lucky enough to see the Tigers win nearly every time we have gone to a game. Wednesday night continued our streak as the Tigers fell behind 4-1 and came back to win 8-4. Joe Nathan came on in the ninth inning and walked the first two guys he faced and the fans got on him. I didn't boo out loud, but in my head, I admit I was thinking “here we go again.” He eventually got out of the inning but it wasn't the easy 1-2-3 ninth that everybody wanted. I didn't see this at the time, but apparently Nathan made a gesture toward the fans afterward because he wasn't happy with being booed. I can understand that, but he has to understand that he has one job. When he doesn't do that job efficiently and has already blown seven save opportunities, he's going to get booed a little bit.
The last thing on our schedule for the two-day trip was to stop in St. Helen and attend a visitation for Richard Wood. For those of you who have been following my posts, you know the story so I won't re-visit it. It was hard, but I'm glad that we stopped. We got to say hi to Ann, Ellen, and Connie and ran into a few other people that I knew from the old days of growing up in St. Helen. I had no idea what to say to Connie. It was easy enough to talk to Ann and Ellen, but when we had a minute with Connie, my head just went blank. Looking at her trying to maintain a brave face and get through the next couple of days made me realize that there wasn't really anything that I could say. I'm sorry just doesn't seem to cut it in that situation.
When we went up to the casket, I looked at Richard and couldn't believe the effect that the cancer had had on him. I was very fortunate in that I never had any pain during my treatment or even before I was diagnosed. Richard was not that lucky. He looked as though he had aged years in the short time between his diagnosis and his passing. I didn't get to visit him prior to his death, but from what I have been told, he handled the entire ordeal with the dignity and grace that anyone who knew Richard would have expected.
We had gone to my mom's house to change clothes and ended up taking my Aunt Kay with us to the visitation. When we went up to Grandma's house to pick her up, I sat with Grandma for a few minutes before we left. She has been having a rough time lately as she has fallen a couple times and hurt her hip. My mom and Aunt have made two trips to the emergency room in West Branch and were blown off the first time. The second time, they were treated a little bit better and got some pain medication for her. It didn't help much though and when we saw her, she was really hurting. She tried to get up when we came in and couldn't do it. I sat next to her and we talked for a few minutes before we had to leave and it just broke my heart listening to her talk about the pain and hearing her ask my mom how soon she could take another pain pill. This is a woman who wouldn't complain if she were on fire, so if she's talking about how much it hurts, it has to be bad. She has an MRI scheduled soon and they think that maybe it's a pinched nerve. I hope it's something that simple as surgery is not an option for her.
Hopefully Grandma and I will get better together!
We Will Win
Anyway, the results of the test were good. I have healed completely from the initial removal of the tumor and there was no sign of cancer or any infection at the surgery site. So that's definitely positive news. After posting this, I am going to get on the phone with the surgeon's office and see about scheduling the reversal for Oct. 20th. That gives me some time to build some leave time from work and the date works best for Kelly's work as well.
I was given some orders from the doctor to be followed before the surgery date. I have to exercise my legs more than I have been, and I have to lose a few pounds. This also involves making sure that I keep a really good handle on my sugar. As dumb as it sounds, this will be the hardest part for me. I eat when I'm stressed or nervous or even bored. In short, I eat a lot. I have to learn to not shove food in my mouth every time the opportunity presents itself.
After the test was completed, we got back in the car and Kelly informed me that we were going to go to Allendale to watch some of Lion's training camp. It was great! We got to get a look at all the players, and the place where we were standing was right where the corners and safeties were working on drills. I could have reached out and touched Darius Slay and Glover Quinn as they came right up to the edge of the roped off area. I wanted to get close to Matt Stafford and watch them run plays, but they were in an area where the public couldn't get to. We didn't stay for the whole practice, but it was something I'll never forget.
We were both hungry when we got to the Lion's facility as I couldn't eat after dinner the night before and Kelly didn't eat anything either. They had exactly one food vendor at the field and it was a pita place. I know lots of people like pitas, but I am not one of them. Even Kelly, who usually likes that kind of stuff, was a little disappointed. I mean, this is a football practice right? With NFL fans attending, right? I think a grill with dogs, burgers, brats, and maybe even some chicken would have been much more appropriate. But then again, Bill Ford Jr. hasn't exactly asked my opinion on the matter. Maybe he's a fan of the pita.
When we left there, we went to check into our hotel and get ready for the Tiger's game that night. Getting ready consisted of taking a two-hour nap. My legs were pretty worn out from the walking involved at Lion's camp and from the stress of the test earlier in the day. We made our way over the ballpark and found our seats. I have to say, these were probably among my favorite ones that we've had. It was padded and there was a little table right in front of us to set stuff on. It was shaded so I was able to stay out of the sun and we were right behind a brat/hot dog vendor that also sold diet pepsi so it was damn near perfect. The only downside was that we couldn't see the scoreboard from where we were at. A small price to pay in my opinion.
We have been lucky enough to see the Tigers win nearly every time we have gone to a game. Wednesday night continued our streak as the Tigers fell behind 4-1 and came back to win 8-4. Joe Nathan came on in the ninth inning and walked the first two guys he faced and the fans got on him. I didn't boo out loud, but in my head, I admit I was thinking “here we go again.” He eventually got out of the inning but it wasn't the easy 1-2-3 ninth that everybody wanted. I didn't see this at the time, but apparently Nathan made a gesture toward the fans afterward because he wasn't happy with being booed. I can understand that, but he has to understand that he has one job. When he doesn't do that job efficiently and has already blown seven save opportunities, he's going to get booed a little bit.
The last thing on our schedule for the two-day trip was to stop in St. Helen and attend a visitation for Richard Wood. For those of you who have been following my posts, you know the story so I won't re-visit it. It was hard, but I'm glad that we stopped. We got to say hi to Ann, Ellen, and Connie and ran into a few other people that I knew from the old days of growing up in St. Helen. I had no idea what to say to Connie. It was easy enough to talk to Ann and Ellen, but when we had a minute with Connie, my head just went blank. Looking at her trying to maintain a brave face and get through the next couple of days made me realize that there wasn't really anything that I could say. I'm sorry just doesn't seem to cut it in that situation.
When we went up to the casket, I looked at Richard and couldn't believe the effect that the cancer had had on him. I was very fortunate in that I never had any pain during my treatment or even before I was diagnosed. Richard was not that lucky. He looked as though he had aged years in the short time between his diagnosis and his passing. I didn't get to visit him prior to his death, but from what I have been told, he handled the entire ordeal with the dignity and grace that anyone who knew Richard would have expected.
We had gone to my mom's house to change clothes and ended up taking my Aunt Kay with us to the visitation. When we went up to Grandma's house to pick her up, I sat with Grandma for a few minutes before we left. She has been having a rough time lately as she has fallen a couple times and hurt her hip. My mom and Aunt have made two trips to the emergency room in West Branch and were blown off the first time. The second time, they were treated a little bit better and got some pain medication for her. It didn't help much though and when we saw her, she was really hurting. She tried to get up when we came in and couldn't do it. I sat next to her and we talked for a few minutes before we had to leave and it just broke my heart listening to her talk about the pain and hearing her ask my mom how soon she could take another pain pill. This is a woman who wouldn't complain if she were on fire, so if she's talking about how much it hurts, it has to be bad. She has an MRI scheduled soon and they think that maybe it's a pinched nerve. I hope it's something that simple as surgery is not an option for her.
Hopefully Grandma and I will get better together!
We Will Win
Saturday, August 2, 2014
Dear Richard
Dear Richard,
I was devasted to read Ellen's post regarding the time you have left. I can't imagine what it must be like for someone to tell you that you have a finite amount of time left. When I was diagnosed, I knew right from the beginning that it was treatable and curable and never had to really worry about the kind of news that you got.
I can only guess as to what's important to you right now, but I think I have a pretty good idea. You have raised a great family and have shared your married life with a loving, caring woman. You have touched their lives in more ways than anyone will ever know, but you should know that there are others who have taken lessons from you as well.
I remember one thing inparticular that I will take from you. When we were younger (a lot younger), there was a dance at the hall up at the ballfields. I can't remember if you were there as a chaperone or just a parent, but I remember that you were there. Ann was there too, and when a slow dance song came on, some people danced and others didn't. Ann wanted to dance, but most of us boys were too busy trying to hide the fact that we had no idea how to dance. Ann was obviously disappointed and then you stepped in and offered her your hand. You led her around the dance floor and although she was mortified for the first few steps, within seconds she was smiling and laughing as you whisked her around the floor. It was the first time in my life that I had ever seen a man slowdance in person that didn't involve the simple shuffling of feet and turning in a circle. I admired your dancing ability that night, but more than that, I admired the kind of man that loved his daughter enough to get up in front of a bunch of teenagers and dance with his daughter. That's been at least 30 years ago and I just wanted you to know that it's a lesson that I've remembered and one I hope to pass on to my son as well.
Thank-you Richard
I was devasted to read Ellen's post regarding the time you have left. I can't imagine what it must be like for someone to tell you that you have a finite amount of time left. When I was diagnosed, I knew right from the beginning that it was treatable and curable and never had to really worry about the kind of news that you got.
I can only guess as to what's important to you right now, but I think I have a pretty good idea. You have raised a great family and have shared your married life with a loving, caring woman. You have touched their lives in more ways than anyone will ever know, but you should know that there are others who have taken lessons from you as well.
I remember one thing inparticular that I will take from you. When we were younger (a lot younger), there was a dance at the hall up at the ballfields. I can't remember if you were there as a chaperone or just a parent, but I remember that you were there. Ann was there too, and when a slow dance song came on, some people danced and others didn't. Ann wanted to dance, but most of us boys were too busy trying to hide the fact that we had no idea how to dance. Ann was obviously disappointed and then you stepped in and offered her your hand. You led her around the dance floor and although she was mortified for the first few steps, within seconds she was smiling and laughing as you whisked her around the floor. It was the first time in my life that I had ever seen a man slowdance in person that didn't involve the simple shuffling of feet and turning in a circle. I admired your dancing ability that night, but more than that, I admired the kind of man that loved his daughter enough to get up in front of a bunch of teenagers and dance with his daughter. That's been at least 30 years ago and I just wanted you to know that it's a lesson that I've remembered and one I hope to pass on to my son as well.
Thank-you Richard
Monday, July 28, 2014
Softball Etiquette
Callie finished up her season this past
weekend in Alpena and although I've mentioned in my last post that
it's been fun watching them get better and more competitive, this
weekend provided something for the girl's to hold onto and know that
they are improving.
They were winning 1-0 going into the bottom of the fifth inning of a seven-inning elimination game on Sunday morning against the Traverse City Thunder White team. We have never beaten a Traverse City for as long as Callie has been in this program, so everyone was feeling pretty happy at this point. The Thunder get a couple girls on base, but with two outs, their batter hits a ground ball and is called out at first base. The Traverse fans go crazy as they believe their player to be safe. Both teams are off the field at this point and the base ump who made the call, all of a sudden feels the need to converse with the home plate ump. After three minutes of conversation, the girl is called safe and our girls are ordered back onto the field. Traverse ends up scoring three runs after the call and we trail 3-1 going into the sixth.
I didn't get a good look at the play, so I won't say whether the call was right or not. I asked people about it and got mixed results. My wife was in the dugout at the time and saw it and thought the runner was in fact, safe, so I'm inclined to believe her. My problem with the whole situation is that if you're going to ask for help as an umpire, you need to do it immediately. You can't wait until the reaction of the fans forces you to start questioning your call and then seek help. If you aren't sure of your call, get help prior to both teams leaving the field, or tell them to stay there until it gets sorted out.
Needless to say, momentum was down at this point as our girls finally get the third out and get off the field. Fortunately, we have the heart of our lineup coming up to bat and our first two hitters reach base, including my daughter, who was hit by a pitch. Logan Solomon came up to bat and hit a ball over the left fielder's head and scored two runs to tie the game. Callie ran through a stop sign at third base and ended up scoring without a throw to the plate. (She has her dad's speed unfortunately). Logan ended up scoring right after that, giving us a 4-3 lead with six Traverse outs to go.
Callie pitched the game and shut down the Thunder in the final two innings with the help of a very solid defensive performance from everyone. The Legacies played the entire game without an error and for the first time, the team showed the willingness to look a loss in the face and turn it into a win. I was so proud of Callie and the way she held it together (with a little help from coach Stacey) and went out and did her job when the team needed her.
This led to a 1 pm game against the Richmond Blues.
There are two things that need to be mentioned before I go any further with this. The first is that weather was an issue on Sunday. Everyone knew that the rain was coming and it was just a matter of time before it got to the ball field. The second is that I believe in the unwritten rules of baseball/softball (most of them anyway). If you don't know what they are, ask me.
The game with the Blues started on time and the lineup was the same as it was for the prior one. I'm supersticious so I had no problem with that. In fact, I was telling some people who were planning on leaving that they needed to stay because the mojo wouldn't be there without them there.
When the game got underway, it was clear that we had spent our last energy in the game before, and it was also clear that the Blues were a better team than we were. I don't mind losing to a better team, but they way that the Richmond coaching staff conducted themselves, the loss was a bitter pill.
As I said, the weather was on the way. You could feel the temperature dropping and see the wind picking up. In the bottom of the second inning, the Blues were beating us 16-0. They are a good hitting team and they have a lot of speed. They bunted on us a lot and we were just emotionally drained from the prior game. The mercy rule states that if a team is down by 15 runs after three innings, the game is over. So the Blues are doing everything they can to get to that 15-run mark. They stole every time they got on and bunted, knowing that their speed was enough for a base hit. It was a pretty classless display since, like I said, we were obviously not as good as they were. But the worst was yet to come. We were having a hard time getting the Blues out in the bottom of the second and they needed to get out and get our last three outs for the game to be official. So their coach told a runner on third base to lead off and get called out. It's an automatic out to leave the bag early, so the ump made the call and now there were two outs. The batter got on and was ordered to leave early by the coach and did so. The base ump missed the call and did not call her out. So as our pitcher begins her windup, the girl takes off and is standing on third close to the time the ball reached the plate and is called out.
One thing that I really appreciate about our coaching staff is the fact that our team never would have pulled a stunt like that. They believe in playing “the right way,” and not embarrasing a team when they are down. We would have never ran like that on a team with such a big lead and we would have never been bunting for hits in that situation. And I can guarantee you that our coaching staff would never, ever have told a girl to leave early like that just to get out of an inning. The whole thing just stunk.
When we got up to bat, the rain started. Anyone who had been looking at the weather could see that once it started, it wasn't going to stop. So, even if Richmond had gotten those last three outs, they weren't going any further anyway, so why act like a bunch of jackwagons?
I am childishly happy to report that just over an hour after the rain began to fall, and the tournament was called off, denying the Blues the opportunity to win the tournament, and not even allowing them to count an official victory against us. Serves them right.
And while I'm at it, I cannot believe how far some of the parents and coaches go at these tournaments. For the second time in as many years, I or my wife has been forced out of a spot while our game was still going on by fans from the next game setting up their portable gazebo and not caring who's way they are in or who's view they might be obstructing. Once the game's over, by all means, set up just the way you want to, but please at least have the courtesy to wait until the game going on is over before you start claiming territory.
And if you're coaching a team of teenage girls, why do you need cleats on? Do you need better traction while waiving a runner on to the next base? Or is it maybe that you think you'll be needed to dress up like a young girl and pinch run at some point? Stop being dumb.
Ok, I'm taking a deep breath now and calming down. This was the last game of the season, so my blood pressure should be fine by spring.
They were winning 1-0 going into the bottom of the fifth inning of a seven-inning elimination game on Sunday morning against the Traverse City Thunder White team. We have never beaten a Traverse City for as long as Callie has been in this program, so everyone was feeling pretty happy at this point. The Thunder get a couple girls on base, but with two outs, their batter hits a ground ball and is called out at first base. The Traverse fans go crazy as they believe their player to be safe. Both teams are off the field at this point and the base ump who made the call, all of a sudden feels the need to converse with the home plate ump. After three minutes of conversation, the girl is called safe and our girls are ordered back onto the field. Traverse ends up scoring three runs after the call and we trail 3-1 going into the sixth.
I didn't get a good look at the play, so I won't say whether the call was right or not. I asked people about it and got mixed results. My wife was in the dugout at the time and saw it and thought the runner was in fact, safe, so I'm inclined to believe her. My problem with the whole situation is that if you're going to ask for help as an umpire, you need to do it immediately. You can't wait until the reaction of the fans forces you to start questioning your call and then seek help. If you aren't sure of your call, get help prior to both teams leaving the field, or tell them to stay there until it gets sorted out.
Needless to say, momentum was down at this point as our girls finally get the third out and get off the field. Fortunately, we have the heart of our lineup coming up to bat and our first two hitters reach base, including my daughter, who was hit by a pitch. Logan Solomon came up to bat and hit a ball over the left fielder's head and scored two runs to tie the game. Callie ran through a stop sign at third base and ended up scoring without a throw to the plate. (She has her dad's speed unfortunately). Logan ended up scoring right after that, giving us a 4-3 lead with six Traverse outs to go.
Callie pitched the game and shut down the Thunder in the final two innings with the help of a very solid defensive performance from everyone. The Legacies played the entire game without an error and for the first time, the team showed the willingness to look a loss in the face and turn it into a win. I was so proud of Callie and the way she held it together (with a little help from coach Stacey) and went out and did her job when the team needed her.
This led to a 1 pm game against the Richmond Blues.
There are two things that need to be mentioned before I go any further with this. The first is that weather was an issue on Sunday. Everyone knew that the rain was coming and it was just a matter of time before it got to the ball field. The second is that I believe in the unwritten rules of baseball/softball (most of them anyway). If you don't know what they are, ask me.
The game with the Blues started on time and the lineup was the same as it was for the prior one. I'm supersticious so I had no problem with that. In fact, I was telling some people who were planning on leaving that they needed to stay because the mojo wouldn't be there without them there.
When the game got underway, it was clear that we had spent our last energy in the game before, and it was also clear that the Blues were a better team than we were. I don't mind losing to a better team, but they way that the Richmond coaching staff conducted themselves, the loss was a bitter pill.
As I said, the weather was on the way. You could feel the temperature dropping and see the wind picking up. In the bottom of the second inning, the Blues were beating us 16-0. They are a good hitting team and they have a lot of speed. They bunted on us a lot and we were just emotionally drained from the prior game. The mercy rule states that if a team is down by 15 runs after three innings, the game is over. So the Blues are doing everything they can to get to that 15-run mark. They stole every time they got on and bunted, knowing that their speed was enough for a base hit. It was a pretty classless display since, like I said, we were obviously not as good as they were. But the worst was yet to come. We were having a hard time getting the Blues out in the bottom of the second and they needed to get out and get our last three outs for the game to be official. So their coach told a runner on third base to lead off and get called out. It's an automatic out to leave the bag early, so the ump made the call and now there were two outs. The batter got on and was ordered to leave early by the coach and did so. The base ump missed the call and did not call her out. So as our pitcher begins her windup, the girl takes off and is standing on third close to the time the ball reached the plate and is called out.
One thing that I really appreciate about our coaching staff is the fact that our team never would have pulled a stunt like that. They believe in playing “the right way,” and not embarrasing a team when they are down. We would have never ran like that on a team with such a big lead and we would have never been bunting for hits in that situation. And I can guarantee you that our coaching staff would never, ever have told a girl to leave early like that just to get out of an inning. The whole thing just stunk.
When we got up to bat, the rain started. Anyone who had been looking at the weather could see that once it started, it wasn't going to stop. So, even if Richmond had gotten those last three outs, they weren't going any further anyway, so why act like a bunch of jackwagons?
I am childishly happy to report that just over an hour after the rain began to fall, and the tournament was called off, denying the Blues the opportunity to win the tournament, and not even allowing them to count an official victory against us. Serves them right.
And while I'm at it, I cannot believe how far some of the parents and coaches go at these tournaments. For the second time in as many years, I or my wife has been forced out of a spot while our game was still going on by fans from the next game setting up their portable gazebo and not caring who's way they are in or who's view they might be obstructing. Once the game's over, by all means, set up just the way you want to, but please at least have the courtesy to wait until the game going on is over before you start claiming territory.
And if you're coaching a team of teenage girls, why do you need cleats on? Do you need better traction while waiving a runner on to the next base? Or is it maybe that you think you'll be needed to dress up like a young girl and pinch run at some point? Stop being dumb.
Ok, I'm taking a deep breath now and calming down. This was the last game of the season, so my blood pressure should be fine by spring.
Hang in there Richard
Note: This was written a few days ago
and unfortunately, this is the first chance I've had to post it. I
will be following this up shortly with another post. Sorry for the
wait.
It's been awhile since I've written anything here. It's been kind of nice not to have anything to complain about in terms of treatments and side effects. My legs are still pretty weak, but I have noticed slight improvement over the past few days and I'm hoping that it continues.
I was terribly disappointed to learn that one of our family friends has been diagnosed with cancer. Richard Wood, who, along with his wife Connie, have been good friends of my mom for as long as I can remember. Graham and I grew up with their daughters Ann and Ellen. I am a year older than Ann and Graham and Ellen are the same age. My mom and Connie worked together at a daycare center for a few years and that meant that us kids spent a lot of time together. It's been a long time since I have talked to either one of the girls, but despite that, my heart goes out to them. One thing that I have discovered about having had cancer is that as hard as it is on the person who has it, it may be even harder on those close to the person who has it. At least when you are the one who has it, you know that you'll either recover or you won't. If you do, your suffering ends, if you don't, your suffering ends. For the family and friends of the cancer patient though, it only goes well if there is a full recovery.
I have been lucky enough to have Kelly in my life and to have her shared strength, courage and optimism. It's not easy for someone to wear that face all the time, especially when they don't always feel that way. It's important though. It's way easier to deal with cancer if the people around you are positive. As a patient, it's so much easier to deal with cancer when you know in your head that you're going to beat it. And an important part of knowing that you're going to beat it is to have the people in your life show nothing but confidence in that outcome. No tears, no doubt, and no giving up.
Ok, enough about that. Richard, I know that you're going to come through this with flying colors.
Our summer so far has been busy, but fun. Callie played really well in Midland and pitched really well in a complete-game win on Saturday night. She had four doubles and a handful of singles in the games.
I'm going to take this opportunity to complain about the way that tournament was run though. Our girls pay $50 per year to play travel softball and the rest of the funding for the program comes from a burger bash fundraiser and our home tournament. The rest is provided by the director of the program, Linda Bouvet out of her own pocket.
Midland has some other ideas regarding fundraising. I have no idea how many weekends per summer their travel team plays, but it must be an extremely high number . They must need an awful lot of money based on their demands on spectators. I must confess that I have no idea what they charged teams to play in the tournament, but unless it was free, the good folks in charge in Midland are taking advantage of parents wanting to watch their kids play. When we pulled into Emerson Park prior to the Friday night game, we were stopped and informed that it would be $10 per person for the weekend. I thought that they must have misspoke and meant $10 per car, but I was wrong. They charged us $30 and gave us an inconvenient wrist bracelet to wear for the rest of the weekend. I didn't want to put the bracelet on so we carried them around in our bags and every time we went to a field, we were asked to produce them. Heaven forbid that someone might show up for a Saturday night game not having paid their $10 entry fee. Add to that the price of the concessions and I'm pretty sure that they grossed more in three days than I make in a year.
Another thing that was ridiculous about that tourney is that Emerson Park is probably the premier softball complex in the state. It has a stadium as one of its fields that the girls got to play on with actual grandstands that run from first base to third base with a press box at the top of the grandstand behind the plate. There are very nice indoor bathrooms underneath the grandstand along with umpire rooms. However, $10 per person apparently isn't enough money to allow access to those indoor bathrooms. The doors were all locked and port-a-johns were placed throughout the complex. Just one more dropped ball by the tournament organizers.
I don't usually rant like that in public, but if that's the kind of money you need to raise to keep your program afloat, then maybe you need to rethink your program just a tad.
We have had a really good time following the girls this summer, watching them improve and be more competitive.
We go to Alpena this weekend for the final tournament of the season. So if you happen to be looking for something to do, make the drive and watch some softball. Abbie is done with her softball and may be rethinking her desire to be a catcher as a ball got through the gear the other day and hit her in the side. She was a trooper though and got back out on the field the next inning, just not behind the plate.
Andrew is still doing really well at his job, and is enjoying the paycheck that comes along with it. He recently asked me about a second job so that he could get even more. I'm proud of him and the work ethic that he is starting to show. His mom wanted to take the kids down to her mom's house and Andrew didn't go because he didn't want to miss work. There was a time when he would have quit the job in order to go.
I will update this again after my pre-surgery on August 13 to let you know what I found out.
It's been awhile since I've written anything here. It's been kind of nice not to have anything to complain about in terms of treatments and side effects. My legs are still pretty weak, but I have noticed slight improvement over the past few days and I'm hoping that it continues.
I was terribly disappointed to learn that one of our family friends has been diagnosed with cancer. Richard Wood, who, along with his wife Connie, have been good friends of my mom for as long as I can remember. Graham and I grew up with their daughters Ann and Ellen. I am a year older than Ann and Graham and Ellen are the same age. My mom and Connie worked together at a daycare center for a few years and that meant that us kids spent a lot of time together. It's been a long time since I have talked to either one of the girls, but despite that, my heart goes out to them. One thing that I have discovered about having had cancer is that as hard as it is on the person who has it, it may be even harder on those close to the person who has it. At least when you are the one who has it, you know that you'll either recover or you won't. If you do, your suffering ends, if you don't, your suffering ends. For the family and friends of the cancer patient though, it only goes well if there is a full recovery.
I have been lucky enough to have Kelly in my life and to have her shared strength, courage and optimism. It's not easy for someone to wear that face all the time, especially when they don't always feel that way. It's important though. It's way easier to deal with cancer if the people around you are positive. As a patient, it's so much easier to deal with cancer when you know in your head that you're going to beat it. And an important part of knowing that you're going to beat it is to have the people in your life show nothing but confidence in that outcome. No tears, no doubt, and no giving up.
Ok, enough about that. Richard, I know that you're going to come through this with flying colors.
Our summer so far has been busy, but fun. Callie played really well in Midland and pitched really well in a complete-game win on Saturday night. She had four doubles and a handful of singles in the games.
I'm going to take this opportunity to complain about the way that tournament was run though. Our girls pay $50 per year to play travel softball and the rest of the funding for the program comes from a burger bash fundraiser and our home tournament. The rest is provided by the director of the program, Linda Bouvet out of her own pocket.
Midland has some other ideas regarding fundraising. I have no idea how many weekends per summer their travel team plays, but it must be an extremely high number . They must need an awful lot of money based on their demands on spectators. I must confess that I have no idea what they charged teams to play in the tournament, but unless it was free, the good folks in charge in Midland are taking advantage of parents wanting to watch their kids play. When we pulled into Emerson Park prior to the Friday night game, we were stopped and informed that it would be $10 per person for the weekend. I thought that they must have misspoke and meant $10 per car, but I was wrong. They charged us $30 and gave us an inconvenient wrist bracelet to wear for the rest of the weekend. I didn't want to put the bracelet on so we carried them around in our bags and every time we went to a field, we were asked to produce them. Heaven forbid that someone might show up for a Saturday night game not having paid their $10 entry fee. Add to that the price of the concessions and I'm pretty sure that they grossed more in three days than I make in a year.
Another thing that was ridiculous about that tourney is that Emerson Park is probably the premier softball complex in the state. It has a stadium as one of its fields that the girls got to play on with actual grandstands that run from first base to third base with a press box at the top of the grandstand behind the plate. There are very nice indoor bathrooms underneath the grandstand along with umpire rooms. However, $10 per person apparently isn't enough money to allow access to those indoor bathrooms. The doors were all locked and port-a-johns were placed throughout the complex. Just one more dropped ball by the tournament organizers.
I don't usually rant like that in public, but if that's the kind of money you need to raise to keep your program afloat, then maybe you need to rethink your program just a tad.
We have had a really good time following the girls this summer, watching them improve and be more competitive.
We go to Alpena this weekend for the final tournament of the season. So if you happen to be looking for something to do, make the drive and watch some softball. Abbie is done with her softball and may be rethinking her desire to be a catcher as a ball got through the gear the other day and hit her in the side. She was a trooper though and got back out on the field the next inning, just not behind the plate.
Andrew is still doing really well at his job, and is enjoying the paycheck that comes along with it. He recently asked me about a second job so that he could get even more. I'm proud of him and the work ethic that he is starting to show. His mom wanted to take the kids down to her mom's house and Andrew didn't go because he didn't want to miss work. There was a time when he would have quit the job in order to go.
I will update this again after my pre-surgery on August 13 to let you know what I found out.
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