I don’t want to say that the last month and few days have been easy because they haven’t. I’ve had days where all I wanted to do was sleep and I did end up missing a couple of days of work because I just didn’t feel up to going. I do feel like though, I’ve had it easier than a lot of people battling cancer. I didn’t have very many side effects from either the chemo or the radiation and for the most part, the ones I did have were relatively mild.
What I’m going to write about next is a little gross, so if you don’t find “poop humor” funny, it’s probably best that you skip to the next section.
The worst part of my treatments was the fact that I developed diarrhea about three weeks in. It’s not like I’ve never had it before, but I can honestly say that I’ve never had it like this before. It happens after I eat and it doesn’t matter what I eat. Vegetables or Candy, red meat or chicken – if I eat it, I’m going to poop it out in a remarkably short period of time. It’s sort of like my stomach is a dishrag and Arnold Schwarzenegger has both hands wrapped around it and is screaming “everybody to the colon! Get oooooouuuuuuuutttt!”
This has put me in several compromising positions over the course of the past couple weeks. I have every potential bathroom stop between the Sault and Petoskey memorized, including a rating system for each one. If you find you have need of this, let me know and I’ll tell you the best places to stop for an emergency colon evacuation. Some things that I thought were funny, although not at the time, were that when I’d get out of the car and head for the bathroom, I’d never make it without having to stop and clench up every muscle in my body for fear of exploding before I could get there. I have stopped to check some imaginary text messages on my phone, examined the nutritional information of a box of Mrs. Grass’s chicken noodle soup (which did not help my cause at all), and I have even stopped to caress an apple to the point that I felt obligated to buy it. (I had held onto it for so long that I took it into the bathroom with me and apparently that activates some ridiculous store policy that says you’ve pretty much bought that apple.) Hopefully, that apple made a fine meal for some woodland creature between Pellston and Alanson where I threw it out the car window. Once the urge becomes tolerable again, there is that awkward shuffle to the bathroom where you find yourself praying that it is unoccupied. I don’t think anybody really notices that stuff though. Riiiiiiiiight.
Ok, enough about that.
They gave me a diploma today in the radiation department to celebrate my last treatment. I have had nothing but positive experiences with everyone that I’ve dealt with so far and these people are no exception. Every day, they were friendly and kind. They put up with more than a few requests for time changes on my appointments and made me feel like I was a part of their day and not just one more person to be shuffled through. Rob, Dusty, and Mary were the people who usually gave me the radiation, while Annie and Dr. Boike were the ones who usually handled my weekly consults. I know that I saw other people in there from time to time and I appreciate the efforts of everyone that helped me, but the people I just mentioned were “my people.” Thank-you so much for making the daily trips to Petoskey bearable and as quick as possible. And a special thank-you to Dr. Boike for his recommendation. I can’t really say what he recommended, but he knows what I’m talking about.
While I know that he’ll probably never read this, I’d also like to say good luck to my most frequent riding partner Tug. He has a longer road than me and will be making the trip down there for at least another month. We had a deal that we were going to stop and get pizza on the way back from treatment sometime, but it fell through because of his condition. So Tug, if you find yourself able, look me up and we’ll get that pizza. Same rules apply though. You can have mushrooms on your half and you dispose of the box so that my wife doesn’t find out that I had pizza. (And just so you know Kelly Church, by pizza, I mean vegetable tray).
Also thank-you to all the people who drove the Road To Recovery van. It takes a special person to give up half of their day to drive people around like that. Especially considering that the weather didn’t always cooperate.
I can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to being able to come home in the morning and just go to bed. No more sleeping in a van seat and no more not getting to bed until 1:30 pm.
So just to recap:
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