I have spent a lot of time today trying to decide whether to talk about this in my post, but I decided that since I've promised myself to be honest in how I'm feeling, I'd better stick to that.
Mark Fenlon is someone who used to work at the same prison as me. He left shortly after I started there, after he was diagnosed with cancer. It was his story, told to me by a mutual friend who works in the same unit as me, that prompted me to go the doctor when I started noticing that things were getting weird in the bathroom. I have silently thanked him many times because if I hadn't known that some of my symptoms were the same ones as he had, I don't know how long I would have waited to go and get checked out.
I don't know if inspiration is the right word, but Mark is someone who I have looked at as a symbol of hope. I know it can be beaten because I know someone who has beaten it. Those of you who know Mark know that he has posted on facebook that his battle with cancer is back on. They found a tumor in his intestines and he is gathering information right now as to how to fight it best.
I know who Mark is, but I don't really know him personally. I definitely feel a connection with him though, because of the common battle that we are fighting. I had a hard time sitting down to write this tonight because I have been focused single-mindedly on beating this things ass. After reading Mark's post, I am forced to confront the possibility that cancer might want a rematch once this thing is over. I wasn't ready for that just yet.
After putting a lot of thought into it and reading Mark's post a couple more times, I got something else out of it. Yeah, it sucks that someone should have to hear the words "you have cancer" even once, much less twice. But the courage that Mark is showing through this is extraordinary. He has not complained once about it or asked "Why me?" All I've heard and read from him are thank-yous for the people who are supporting him and a very factual account of what's happening with him.
If you read this Mark, please know that I will be thinking of you and hoping that you beat this thing again. You have provided me no small amount of hope during my short ordeal, and I know that there will be a day that the two of us can sit down together and talk about what it used to be like to have cancer.
On to brighter topics.
The other night, I watched my youngest daughter earn her second yellow stripe on her white belt in kuk sool won. She was thrilled as she got called up to the front of the gym to receive her promotion, and I was thrilled to watch it. It's kind of funny how cancer makes you appreciate things a little more than you might normally. I also got a couple of envelopes in the mail today from the school that Andrew and Callie go to. I opened the envelopes and saw report cards. I immediately smiled looking at Andrew's grades. He doesn't like school so much, so I wasn't sure what I was going to see on the report. There are a couple of grades that could use improvement, but there were more that were better than average. I couldn't stop smiling when I saw it. When I saw Callie's report card, I was just as proud. Callie has always enjoyed her schoolwork, whether she admits it or not. She had all As and A-s on her card. Good Job Guys!!!
I will post again on Thursday as this will mark the halfway point of my treatment.
I Will Win
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