One Year Later

Everyone has dates in their lives that they will remember forever. Anniversarys, birthdays, personal milestones and the like. Sometimes the events that spark these memories are happy occasions, and other times they are not. Either way, we remember. September has several dates that are significant for me. I was married on September 9^th, my brother Clay's birthday is September 4^th, and who can forget the tragic events that occurred on September 11^th. There's also one other September date that stands out for me.

One year ago today, I found myself lying in a hospital bed in War Memorial Hospital and seeing my wife's eyes lined with tears as she told me that the doctor had found cancer inside me during a colonoscopy. The last year has been a long, arduous ordeal, full of discomfort and frustration.

Despite what I've gone through, I've learned some valuable lessons about myself and about life in general. I've learned what it's like to have someone in my life who genuinely cares more about my well being than her own, and I've learned that the world doesn't stop just because you're going through something.

On Monday, I will return to Detroit Henry Ford Hospital for what will hopefully be the final procedure in my story. The surgery will be to reverse the ostoemy that was put on me during the first surgery. I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to not having that thing attached to me any more.

I had an “interesting” episode at work on Friday night because of it. I was sitting at my desk and I smelled something bad. I couldn't figure out what it was at first. Then I looked down and noticed the wet spot on the front of my shirt. At that point I knew what the smell was. The seal on the ostoemy bag had broken and it was leaking. I went to the staff bathroom to see if I could get cleaned up and stay at work. The reason I wanted to stay was because there was a holiday in the pay period. We get paid time and a half for the holiday unless we use any kind of leave during the pay period. If I left, I would have to use sick leave which would nullify my holiday pay. We can also comp the holiday, which was what I had planned to do to build up time for my surgery. Leaving cost me the six hours for the rest of the night, plus the 12 hours that I would have gotten for the holiday. Anyway, when I got to the bathroom, I shut the door and flipped on the light switch only to find out that the light bulb was gone. I had to walk back down to the office and get a flashlight and head back down to the bathroom, none of which was helping my situation. By the time I had gotten back to the bathroom, the bag was nearly completely off and I knew that there was no way I'd be able to stay the rest of the night. And cleaning myself up with essentially a nightlight on was no picnic either. I did the best I could and left. It was a fairly embarrassing ordeal. I had to get my wife out of bed when I got home to help me change the bag and then I had to take a shower. Luckily this kind of thing has only happened the one time in a public setting, and let me tell you, once is enough for me.

Something kind of funny just happened as I was writing this. I have been watching a show on Ed. It was on NBC a few years ago. I never watched the show while it was actually running, but I have been watching the episodes on You Tube. The premise of the show is that Ed loses his job at a New York City contract law firm and when he goes home to tell his wife about it, he finds her in bed with the mailman. He moves back home and ends kissing the girl that he pined for in high school. He kisses her at the bowling alley and decides to buy it because he believes it's some kind of sign. He opens his own law practice and works out of the bowling alley. There are a lot of things about the show that I like. I won't bore you with what draws me to the show, but I will tell you that I have no desire to be a lawyer or run a bowling alley. Anyway, I digress. The thing about the episode I was watching is Ed has a client who wants a name change and when asked why, he replies “life is too short to be someone that you don't want to be.” Along with the name change, he changes his look completely. Ed suspects there is more to the story and decides to go on a stakeout with Carol. They follow the man but nothing is revealed. Later in the episode, a woman comes to visit Ed and claims to be the man's wife. She tells Ed that her husband was recently diagnosed with terminal cancer and when he was told about it he simply said to the doctor, “you have the wrong guy.” He changed his name, his look and tried to leave his life behind completely in an effort to avoid the reality of his situation. That was a pretty creative solution. His name was George Murphy, and he became Rick Van Stratton. The show ends with George (Rick) coming to his senses and going back to his wife to spend what little time that had left together. Luckily, my situation is not that dire, but if I were to change my name, I think I'd change it to hmmmm, that's harder than I thought. I'm taking suggestions for what I could change my name to. Certain people are not allowed to submit suggestions, and you all know who you are.

With any luck, my cancer story is nearing its end. One more surgery, and one CT scan. I've always said that hopefully by Christmas this will all be nothing but a funny story and a memory. I don't know how funny the story will end up being, but it there's no doubt in my mind that I'll never forget it.

I Will Win

Mowing grass and taking names

Note: This entry was meant to be posted on August 27th, but that didn't quite happen. So when I refer to the weekend, it does not mean Labor Day weekend, but the weekend prior

Have you ever heard of the phenomenon in which something you remembered as being huge as a child looks significantly smaller as an adult? Things like a creek that look like a mere trickle of water as an adult or a Little League field that looked huge as a kid that now seem barely more than a fenced in infield? I experienced the opposite of this over the weekend. My Grandma’s yard has always been big, but I used to mow it with the tractor when I was a kid and it always seemed to go pretty quickly. Kelly, the kids and I went down there this past weekend to take care of the yards and it seemed more like mowing a hay field than a lawn.

My grandma is 91 years old and has had both hips replaced. She has a hard time getting around as it is and lately it’s gotten worse. She is very stubborn and insists that she doesn’t need to use a walker or anything other than a cane. She has fallen a couple times in the past few weeks and after the most recent one, she started having some severe pain in her right hip. My mom and aunt took her to the emergency room in West Branch and were essentially turned away after being told that nothing was wrong and that it was arthritis. The pain continued and got worse. They went back to West Branch and this time, the same doctor that shut them down the first time prescribed some pain killers that didn’t work. They did take x-rays but they didn’t reveal any broken bones so nothing was done. My grandma was in enough pain to want to go to the ER and then to be admitted into the hospital. She is a pretty tough old lady who enjoys a trip to the doctor about as much as most of us enjoy a good rectal exam (personal experience speaking there).

From there it was a trip to her family doctor. He knows Grandma better and knows that she wouldn’t complain unless the pain was pretty severe. He ordered an MRI at West Branch which they promptly scheduled….9 FREAKING DAYS LATER! Don’t worry about that pain Grandma. I’m sure the next nine days of agony will go by quickly. Idiots.

My mom got on the phone with Grayling Mercy Hospital and got the MRI scheduled the next day. The results just came in on Monday. She has been diagnosed with Spinal Stenosis. This (I have been told), is a narrowing of the spinal column. What has happened is that a nerve has been pushed outside the spinal column and is now being pinched as the column continues to narrow. This is causing the pain. She has been referred to a neurosurgeon. I’m not sure what the cure is for this or even if there is one. Because of her age, surgery is kind of out of the question, so hopefully there’s a therapy or something that can provide some relief.

Probably the only people that would enjoy the relief more than Grandma are my mom and my Aunt Kay. They have taken turns staying with her at night and have basically become live in nurses for Grandma. They do everything in shifts so that there is always someone there with Grandma. This has led to a lack of ability to take care of things at their own houses. My Uncle Donnie came up from Mississippi to help with things and I’m sure that his sisters are glad for the help.

We went down on Saturday morning to mow the lawns. It had been awhile since anyone has had five minutes of free time to do anything with them so the grass was long. Because of my legs I took the riding mower and Kelly took a push behind weed whacker that she used to get the ditch back under control. I was proud of the kids too. Callie was a beast with the push mower, doing the majority of Grandma’s back yard by hand. I can promise you, that is no small feat. Andrew had the weed whip and took care of the trim work before taking a turn pushing the mower, and Abbie worked hard with a leaf blower, getting the driveway and sidewalks cleaned off before getting a broom and sweeping off the deck. It made me feel good to be helping out mom and Aunt Kay, and made me feel good to see the kids putting forth that kind of effort with no complaint. Kelly took over for me on the rider after I had gotten Grandma’s and Aunt Kay’s front yards mowed. I had worked Friday night and had not slept, so I went back and took a short nap at mom’s house. We had originally planned to spend the weekend out in Barbeau with some friends, but Kelly suggested that we go and help out. This is one of the reasons that I love her. Her willingness to help a family that has only fairly recently come into her life makes me know that choosing her and being chosen by her is a blessing.

I don’t envy my mom or my aunt in what they have to do right now. It’s hard work to take care of someone ‘round the clock, especially when the patient is in pain. Mom and Aunt Kay, I just want you to know that your work is appreciated by everyone who calls her Great Grandma, Grandma, mom or simply friend. Thank-you!

On Sunday, we decided to take the kids to the Renaissance Festival. Kelly and I like to go and Andrew and Callie have been dying to try a turkey leg from there. I’ll relate that story in a couple of days as both of my brothers and their kids were able to make it on the short notice that we gave them and it led to some funny moments.

One quick update on me: My surgery was originally scheduled for October 20th, but we have bumped it up to September 22nd.

I Will Win