One year ago today, I found myself lying in a hospital bed in War Memorial Hospital and seeing my wife's eyes lined with tears as she told me that the doctor had found cancer inside me during a colonoscopy. The last year has been a long, arduous ordeal, full of discomfort and frustration.
Despite what I've gone through, I've learned some valuable lessons about myself and about life in general. I've learned what it's like to have someone in my life who genuinely cares more about my well being than her own, and I've learned that the world doesn't stop just because you're going through something.
On Monday, I will return to Detroit Henry Ford Hospital for what will hopefully be the final procedure in my story. The surgery will be to reverse the ostoemy that was put on me during the first surgery. I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to not having that thing attached to me any more.
I had an “interesting” episode at work on Friday night because of it. I was sitting at my desk and I smelled something bad. I couldn't figure out what it was at first. Then I looked down and noticed the wet spot on the front of my shirt. At that point I knew what the smell was. The seal on the ostoemy bag had broken and it was leaking. I went to the staff bathroom to see if I could get cleaned up and stay at work. The reason I wanted to stay was because there was a holiday in the pay period. We get paid time and a half for the holiday unless we use any kind of leave during the pay period. If I left, I would have to use sick leave which would nullify my holiday pay. We can also comp the holiday, which was what I had planned to do to build up time for my surgery. Leaving cost me the six hours for the rest of the night, plus the 12 hours that I would have gotten for the holiday. Anyway, when I got to the bathroom, I shut the door and flipped on the light switch only to find out that the light bulb was gone. I had to walk back down to the office and get a flashlight and head back down to the bathroom, none of which was helping my situation. By the time I had gotten back to the bathroom, the bag was nearly completely off and I knew that there was no way I'd be able to stay the rest of the night. And cleaning myself up with essentially a nightlight on was no picnic either. I did the best I could and left. It was a fairly embarrassing ordeal. I had to get my wife out of bed when I got home to help me change the bag and then I had to take a shower. Luckily this kind of thing has only happened the one time in a public setting, and let me tell you, once is enough for me.
Something kind of funny just happened as I was writing this. I have been watching a show on Ed. It was on NBC a few years ago. I never watched the show while it was actually running, but I have been watching the episodes on You Tube. The premise of the show is that Ed loses his job at a New York City contract law firm and when he goes home to tell his wife about it, he finds her in bed with the mailman. He moves back home and ends kissing the girl that he pined for in high school. He kisses her at the bowling alley and decides to buy it because he believes it's some kind of sign. He opens his own law practice and works out of the bowling alley. There are a lot of things about the show that I like. I won't bore you with what draws me to the show, but I will tell you that I have no desire to be a lawyer or run a bowling alley. Anyway, I digress. The thing about the episode I was watching is Ed has a client who wants a name change and when asked why, he replies “life is too short to be someone that you don't want to be.” Along with the name change, he changes his look completely. Ed suspects there is more to the story and decides to go on a stakeout with Carol. They follow the man but nothing is revealed. Later in the episode, a woman comes to visit Ed and claims to be the man's wife. She tells Ed that her husband was recently diagnosed with terminal cancer and when he was told about it he simply said to the doctor, “you have the wrong guy.” He changed his name, his look and tried to leave his life behind completely in an effort to avoid the reality of his situation. That was a pretty creative solution. His name was George Murphy, and he became Rick Van Stratton. The show ends with George (Rick) coming to his senses and going back to his wife to spend what little time that had left together. Luckily, my situation is not that dire, but if I were to change my name, I think I'd change it to hmmmm, that's harder than I thought. I'm taking suggestions for what I could change my name to. Certain people are not allowed to submit suggestions, and you all know who you are.
With any luck, my cancer story is nearing its end. One more surgery, and one CT scan. I've always said that hopefully by Christmas this will all be nothing but a funny story and a memory. I don't know how funny the story will end up being, but it there's no doubt in my mind that I'll never forget it.
I Will Win
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