I have always been a big believer in the healing power of the mind. I believe that the right attitude and what you allow the body to accept goes a long way toward resolving any medical condition. By accept, I’m not talking about food and nutrition, I’m talking about not letting the body buy into the fact that something might be wrong with it.
For example, I never admit to having a cold. I might be sniffling, I might be coughing and sneezing, but if anyone asks, I do not have a cold. I’m just a little stuffy, or I just have a little head thing going on. This is not to say that I don’t do anything about it, although Kelly might have a different opinion. When I feel something start coming on, I make sure I take my daily vitamin and drink some extra fluids and for whatever reason, I don’t usually get overly sick.
The reason that I’m writing about this is not so that people will think that I’m crazy, but because I’ve had a lot of people ask me if I’m feeling alright or ask me how I’m doing. When I say “I feel fine,” I get some surprised looks and then people tell me that that’s great. I tend to agree with them because I think it’s great too that I don’t feel terrible and don’t have unbearable pain.
It’s kind of like the alleged cold though. I know that I have something the matter with me, but I have been trying to make sure that my body knows that it’s business as usual, and we’re not going to get overly worked up about this thing that isn’t going to be around for too much longer. For the most part, I feel like I’ve been successful with this mindset. There have been a few setbacks to be sure, but I truly believe that refusing to let this cancer shut me down will be a huge determining factor in my impending victory over the disease.
It may sound easy to just believe that nothing bad will happen, but it isn’t. Every day there are examples of that attitude not working or the cancer simply being too strong or too rooted in to be exiled by the power of positive thinking.
All medical reasons aside, it takes more than your own positivity to come out on top. It takes help from the people in your life. Friends and family have got to provide you with experiences that allow that beautiful resiliency to keep the faith and make the body believe.
I have been lucky enough to have that in abundance from both my family and my friends, and had an experience today that is a perfect example of what I’m talking about.
Yesterday, Kelly and I had my kids over for dinner and to celebrate Andrew’s 16th birthday. This means in February, I feel like I should be turning 106 years old. Anyway, after dinner, cake, ice-cream, and gifts, we were getting ready to take my Churchlings back to their mother’s house. Abigael asked me if I wanted to see the new dinosaur movie, and I suggested that she and I have a little movie date the next day at 3:15. She agreed and our date was on.
I went over and picked her up and we drove to the theater. We bought our popcorn, drinks and tickets and as we were walking into the theater, Abbie said to me. “Dad, mom suggested that maybe Abbie Kabelman could come with us today, but I told her nope, not today. Today it’s mine and dad’s time together.” Hearing her say that brought on a slight allergic reaction that amounted to my eyes watering a little and me having to whisper thank you to Abbie and also to whoever was in charge of good karma yesterday.
We had a great time watching the movie together. She asked some questions about the differences between carnivores, herbivores and omnivores. There was no math involved so I was able to answer her questions correctly and at one point during the movie, she reached up and grabbed my baseball hat off my head and put it on hers. Don’t anyone tell her this, but although I always act like it bothers me, I actually love seeing her wear my ball hats. For whatever reason, it makes me feel closer to her and she always acts like she’s pulled off some great caper by getting ahold of my hat. The smile on her face when she does it should be bottled and sold as a cure for heartbreak.
This next paragraph or two is just going to be a straight-up rant so if don’t want to read it, skip down to where the paragraph starts “On the way back to Abbie’s mom’s house, I got a phone call.”
As we were leaving the theater, I got what I knew was coming. “Daddy, can I play the claw game?” I’d seriously like just five minutes with the person responsible for that game, and five more with the person who made the decision to put it in the theater. I mean, like you haven’t spent enough money on all the movie trimmings? Now, you have to come out and produce .50 cents per try for your child to play a game that has a lower success rate than most carnival games? Good Lord!!!
I thought I had her though because all I had in my pockets was two twenty dollar bills and I told her that, thinking that that would end the debate. Abbie Church is a smart little devil though. She examined the machine for a second and then informed me that the electronic criminal did, in fact, accept twenty-dollar bills. Seriously, five minutes, that’s all I want. I was able to hold my ground though and we escaped without further expenditure.
On the way back to Abbie’s mom’s house, I got a phone call. It was my other daughter Callie, asking me if I would come in when I dropped off Abbie and help Andrew. I said sure, wondering what I’d be helping with. As it turns out, I got to look smart twice in the same day. Andrew needed help getting his new x-box 360 wireless controller to sync with the game console. We got it figured out in about 10 minutes and he was good to go. I looked in on Callie and got to watch her draw for a couple minutes on her iPad which is about as rare as being attacked by a grizzly bear and a polar bear on the same day.
The whole experience of the day provided more healing to me than any radiation or chemotherapy that I’ll ever get. It’s those kinds of interactions that I was talking about earlier that allow your mind to convince your body that all is ok and that failure is not an option.
I have been extremely blessed through this process with both the concerted efforts and the unintentional gestures of those close to me that allow, and motivate me to convince my body that it’s business as usual. By this summer, I won’t have any more convincing to do.
I Will Win
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