So, I know that you’re probably thinking that this is way too soon for another post. They are usually a lot more spread out. This is true, but I was reading something last night that got me thinking, and for me, writing is what usually follows thinking.
I was reading the book Rainbow Six by Tom Clancy (great book, by the way. I think this is the third time I’ve read it) and towards the end, a son is born to one of the main characters and his wife. Shortly after the birth, the man (Domingo Chavez) starts re-evaluating his life and things he wants for himself and his family.
When you read something like that, I think there’s a natural tendency to evaluate the things in your own life and what you’d like as compared to where you are. This is not to say that anyone should look at their current life with any sort of negative connotation as compared to what they’d like their life to be. It’s just natural, I think, for the human brain to constantly be updating a mental wish list.
I had someone tell me once that I could never be satisfied with anything, that I didn’t enjoy the things that I had for two seconds before I wanted the next thing. Like most things in life, I would have to say that this is partially true, but not in the sense that the person meant it.
If I were to die tomorrow, I could do so perfectly happy with the material things that I have right now. Does this mean that there isn’t anything that I’d like to have? Of course not. There are lots of material things that I would love to own. I’ll list some of them for you.
1- I’d love to drive a brand new Ford F-150 with all the options on it. It would be a deep blue with leather seats and of course it would be 4-wheel drive.
2- I’d love to have an x-box 1 to play with.
3- I would really like to have a stable of snowmobiles to ride around on with my family.
4- I want a golf cart in the worst way. But not some generic one. As long as I’m wishing, I’d want a red one that looks like a mini sports car or something like that.
These are all things that I may never end up having and honestly, I’m just fine with that. The things that I have now keep me more than occupied and more than happy.
The list above is what the person was referring to when mentioning my inability to be satisfied, and like I said, while I’d love to have those things, I’m doing just fine without them.
There is another list though of things that I am not satisfied with. It is this list that I will not be happy with until I have a lot more check marks on it than I currently have. Some of the items on it may seem materialistic, in fact, some of them are extremely materialistic, but the difference is, they’re not for me. This list is longer than the first by far.
1- I want to hold a grandchild in my arms before I’m done here. And not any time soon, mind you, but I would like that feeling very much.
2- I want to outlive my mother. I know, this sounds like a jackass thing to say and it probably is, but let me explain. In my life, I have watched grandparents on both sides of my family bury one of their children. It’s not something that I’d wish on anyone, least of all my own mother.
3- I have watched three of my children celebrate their 16th birthday. There’s two left to hit this milestone and I’m going to be pissed if I miss out on the cake and ice cream for either of them. Kelly Church makes a mean Texas sheet cake.
4- In the spirit of No. 3, I have three daughters who I’d like to attend weddings for. I realize that in this day and age, that may not come to pass, but it’s something that I would enjoy. Two of these daughters will be mine to walk down the aisle and have the father-daughter dance with, while the oldest (my stepdaughter), will bring me every bit as much joy just by my being there to watch her big day. And while I don’t consider myself old-fashioned in too many ways, I would prefer that No. 4 on this list happens before No. 1.
5- I would like to live at least a year of my life in the black. Debt free that is. People say it’s pretty cool.
6- In direct contradiction to No. 5, I would like to give my wife a ring. And not just any ring, I’m talking about THE ring. The one that makes a woman’s breath quicken just a bit. When we got married, I gave her the ring that my dad gave to my mom, and I think that was a pretty cool moment for us. We picked out a ring together that has five stones on it, one for each of the kids. And she has one that her grandmother gave to her. But I’d like to get her one someday in the more traditional sense of picking it out myself and surprising her with it. The other ones are extremely special in that they have connections to other people in our lives, but I would like for there to be one that is only shared by the two of us.
There are lots more things on this list, but I just went back and read it and it seems pretty demanding so I think I’ll just stop there for now.
To close this out, I just want to include a message to the parasite living in me that is trying to suck the years from my life.
You can’t have me yet cancer. There are grandbabies I have to meet, weddings I have to attend and gifts that I have yet to be able to afford to give out. There may be a day when I won’t have the strength or the will to hold you off or get rid of you. Today is not that day. I will be rid of you soon and you will not be invited back.
I Will Win
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